Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-Chief.
Waiter, Tim Singh (27) is today considering enrolling in a Bachelor’s of Engineering at the University of Sydney, after a brilliant display of practical mathematical mastery.
“I could see the customer carefully resting his elbow on the edge of the table, trying to keep the meals steady and from flipping into the air AND attempting to sip a coffee at the same time – it was at that point I knew I had to intervene,” said Tim, as he shopped for second-hand hard hats on Gumtree.
Tim claims that this is not the first time he has swung into action and like Jason Bourne, used whatever was at his disposal to adjust the level of a patron’s table:
“Give me anything, a newspaper, magazine – a fuckin’ napkin and I’ll make it rain son,” he continued.
“I’m definitely going to be looking at some courses tonight, it would be a shame to waste my natural talent” Tim added, excited for his new life of being hated by tradies on site.
More to follow.