Author: Herbert ‘Herb’ Greengate Editor-at-Large.
The town of Mos Eisley, a hive of wretched scum and villainy, is no stranger to scandal – and today is no exception. Witnesses state that the infamous Cantina Bar was shut down as a result of multiple violations to the galactic hygiene and safety codes.
Known for being a simple place where one can find passage aboard a Corellian Freighter with no questions asked, buy some Death Sticks or grasp a delicious cup of Jawa Juice – it safe to say the galaxy is in an uproar.
The Shallot was able to obtain a copy of the official transcript from the galactic health offices, which revealed the infringements to be as follows:
i) An Aqualish arm was found on the floor.
ii) The body of a deceased Rodian bounty hunter found in a booth.
iii) Wookie fur in the Soup of the Day.
iv) Boots of a suave smuggler resting on an eating surface.
v) Toxic levels of blue food colouring in the milk.
vi) Droids inside the venue.
“I’ve seen some pretty crazy shit go down here man” said Cantina house band stalwart, Figrin D’an.
“A bloke got his arm sliced off with a Light-Sabre just last week – he was an ugly bastard though, no one minded at all”.
The Shallot would like to pay their respects by mentioning the many Bothan’s who died to bring us this story.