Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-Chief.
Sources have just confirmed that Pete Evans, that prick who talks a lot of shit on My Kitchen Rules (MKR), is right about everything. Behind those crazy, crazy eyes is a burning truth that the people of Australia struggled to grapple with today. Studies do indeed show that calcium is out to get you, sunscreen is toxic and WIFI is the stuff of demons.
“The bastard was right goddammit, the bastard was right!” screamed Manu Feildel today whilst jerking off to old re-runs of MKR.
“Everybody on set used to mock him for his harebrained conspiracy theories and his ability to cook – well they were 50% right it seems” Manu added in between glances at a nearby mirror.
We reached out to Pete for comment and in another shocking turn of events he produced an image proving something else he knew to be true:
In another brilliant display of sage insight into the world around him, Pete has confirmed the existence of the ever elusive Bigfoot and is planning on unveiling further proof on the next episode of MKR.
“It’ll be a welcome change from the crap they usually produce!” said expert commentator, Colin Fassnidge in between daring lines of cocaine.
MKR’s Bigfoot reveal will be airing next next week.
More to follow.
(Image source: Sunday Night)