Renown Chef, Heston H. Blumenthal, has today been taken into Australian police custody after Blumenthal housekeeper, Singh Patelli, found a severed head disguised as pasta amatriciana in the garage fridge.
“At first I was like ‘that looks like a pretty tasty pasta amatriciana’ and then I remembered that H-Bomb loves to disguise his food and fool his patrons. It was upon closer inspection I saw that it was, in fact, a severed human head” explained Singh.
“I always knew there was something wrong with that bloke, something about his eyes…” Singh murmured, his voice far away.
Police suspect that many more victims have been disposed of in this manner, with unsuspecting patrons devouring the criminal evidence disguised as delicious and enigmatic food.
“We have reason to believe that nearly 100 heads have been un-wittingly consumed at Dinner by Heston Blumenthal, disguised as a variety of dishes including, but not limited to; Meat Fruit, Rice & Flesh and the still surprising Ice Cream with Vegemite”
“We still don’t know how he managed to pull that one off” he added.
The Shallot has reached out to Heston for comment.
More to follow.
Author – Parsley Adams – Editor-in-Chief.