You’re at a bar, your mate Davo has just ordered 150 lashes. You do too, even though you usually drink Super Dry. You and Davo both take a sip.
“Ahhh, you can really taste the hops” he comments. You sit, staring at Davo as his opinion of you lowers. Your stomach drops – yet another friend lost to your shite knowledge of craft brews.
Sound familiar? Yes? We’re here to help.
Drinking craft beer shouldn’t be a headache – that’s supposed to come the next morning after you’ve downed 9 schooners of Violent Soho’s signature ale!
First things first – what do you order? Nothing under $14 a schooner, that’s for sure. Try something with hints of maple if you’re stuck as it always works in a pinch.
Next, head on over to your local. Pick a mate with at least 1-inch of beard hair and be sure to discern if he has a Gang of Youths vinyl in his collection – if these boxes have been ticked, your experiment is set.
Order a James Squire Chancer, take a deep sip and state one of the following;
- Wow, that’s a strong crafty flavour.
- Mmmmm, that’s really Hoppy, I like that it is hoppy.
- Look at that sediment!
- Gosh, I fucking love Hops, almost as much as I love Gang of Youths
- MMMMMM – Resiny
- Jesus, that hop level is Hoptimal!
- Just call this beer Hoptimus Prime cos it’s transforming my life!
- Is this a Microbrew? Because I only drink Microbrews.
- What a cool mouthfeel
- I heard this beer is dry-aged for at least a month before being served.
If your mate looks impressed and asks to get a beer with you again, then Voila! You’re officially a craft beer drinker.
More to follow.
Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-chief.