“Mmmm, Quite Hoppy” & 9 Other Cool Things To Say While Drinking Craft Beer

You’re at a bar, your mate Davo has just ordered 150 lashes. You do too, even though you usually drink Super Dry. You and Davo both take a sip.

“Ahhh, you can really taste the hops” he comments. You sit, staring at Davo as his opinion of you lowers. Your stomach drops – yet another friend lost to your shite knowledge of craft brews.

Sound familiar? Yes? We’re here to help.

Drinking craft beer shouldn’t be a headache – that’s supposed to come the next morning after you’ve downed 9 schooners of Violent Soho’s signature ale!

First things first – what do you order? Nothing under $14 a schooner, that’s for sure. Try something with hints of maple if you’re stuck as it always works in a pinch.

Next, head on over to your local. Pick a mate with at least 1-inch of beard hair and be sure to discern if he has a Gang of Youths vinyl in his collection – if these boxes have been ticked, your experiment is set.

Order a James Squire Chancer, take a deep sip and state one of the following;

  1. Wow, that’s a strong crafty flavour.
  2. Mmmmm, that’s really Hoppy, I like that it is hoppy.
  3. Look at that sediment!
  4. Gosh, I fucking love Hops, almost as much as I love Gang of Youths
  5. MMMMMM – Resiny
  6. Jesus, that hop level is Hoptimal!
  7. Just call this beer Hoptimus Prime cos it’s transforming my life!
  8. Is this a Microbrew? Because I only drink Microbrews.
  9. What a cool mouthfeel
  10. I heard this beer is dry-aged for at least a month before being served.

If your mate looks impressed and asks to get a beer with you again, then Voila! You’re officially a craft beer drinker.

More to follow.

Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-chief. 


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