Author: Herbert ‘Herb’ Greengate – Editor-at-Large.
A story about a Chef being a bastard to an apprentice is something you see and hear everyday in hospitality, but it has come to our attention here at The Shallot that Head Chef Dale Stockland has raged against the machine and proceeded to be rather lovely to his new, kind of sexy, pretty rootable apprentice – despite her culinary inability.
“What? No, she’s just a breath of fresh air in here” Dale panted nervously when questioned.
“I mean, sure, she is better looking than these other greasy muppets, but that has nothing to do with it”.
The proverbial Leaf was turned when she first came in for an interview, with reports saying that Dale’s first reaction was to mutter “Oh my” while rubbing his black chef pants, crouching slightly to hide his semi-erection.
It is said that the other kitchen crew are starting to get quite weary of the double standards with some pimply bong-smoking 2nd years s getting quite annoyed at their abusive head chef going missing when it’s time for some ‘discipline’.
“This morning I got told that if I messed up the chopped parsley again that I would get ‘a fucking flogging” said 2nd year Apprentice and Orchy bottle enthusiast, Blake Moorcombe “She fucked a whole batch of Creme Brulee and was told they were ‘really lovely, but could use a little bit of work”
We reached out to former Real Estate receptionist, apple of Dales eye and apprentice in question, Stacy Blange (20) for comment.
“Daley is lovely! I feel so nurtured, I get all the days off I want and he tells me I do a great job!” Stacy spoke gleefully “I see him treat other apprentices really badly, maybe I am just a natural”
She added “He seems to be very forgiving when I stuff something up, once I left a band-aid in a Nicoise Salad, he said I was just ‘Expressing myself”.
The way management have handled the issue is coming under fire, with the concept of Dale putting Stacy on alone with him for ‘Admin Duties’ raising some eyebrows within the venue.
“It’s nice to just spend some time alone with her in my office, showing her the real duties of a Chef” Dale went into detail “I just feel a strong connection to her, she is in good hands with me”
“And I’m in good hands with her” he winked.
It is said if this does not stop soon, the kitchen will be lost and Dale will be left with only his starlet to take care of all the duties.
“Good, those pimply-faced, bong-pulling, low-lives aren’t anywhere near as good as her anyway, I’d rather it was her and I alone” Dale stated whilst tilting his head toward the fluorescent lit ceiling “Finally…”
The Shallot believes this is not a way to treat sexy staff members and wishes to formally notify Shallot Partner ‘Basil Howard’ to please cease his approaches on the Editors.