TV Chef and modern-day heartthrob, Gordon ‘that’s fucking burnt’ Ramsay, has today been accused of sexual potency.
Amidst a slew of recent allegations in Hollywood, ranging from Harvey Weinstein to Lous C.K, it is now Britains favorite angry Chef who is being called into the media spotlight.
“He just looks like he can fuck,” said the anonymous accuser.
“Something about the way he screams people’s self-esteem into the ground until it’s nothing more than an empty husk suggests to me that he’d be a pretty raunchy lay – I’d go so far as to accuse Gordon of Sexual potency” she added, in tears.
“I bet his little angry swimmers get to the egg, every godamn time.”
More to follow, as-it-happens.
Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-Chief.