Audacious Young Man Lists ‘Gluten Tolerant’ As A Skill On His Resume

“Strokes of genius: they’re as rare as hens teeth these days”

Author: Herbert ‘Herb’ Greengate – Editor-at-Large.

School leaver and obvious entrepreneur, Jordy Sims, 18, had a heavy influx of jobs offers within the short space of 48 hours, as news of his audacious resume tart-up went viral. Jordy in a brilliant flash of ingenuity, listed ‘Gluten Tolerant’ as one of his skills, along with ‘Leadership, People Skills, Deep Fryer and Microsoft Excel’.

“Its that kind of cutting edge thinking that I’m hoping will launch this venue into the 21st century’ said one hopeful employer, Nik Eberhardt from the inner city dive, Balmain Bowling Club.

“The guys got pizazz and a set the size of oranges” he added.

Jordy’s audacity has been lauded by many industry leaders, so we decided to catch up with the young go-getter.

“It just came to me as a unique selling point for myself – it felt natural ya know?” said Jordy ‘The Man With The Iron Stomach’ Sims.

“I had no idea that so many potential employers were in need for someone without a fear or intolerance of gluten” he added.

Inner City restaurant owner and ‘Judge’ on Sevens successful family-ruining, backstabbing laden masterpiece ‘My Kitchen Rules’, Colin Fassnidge served up his own take on the boys success.

“Strokes of genius: they’re as rare as hens teeth these days’ he said, staring dully into the room of underfed yuppies dining at his inner city hang, 4Fourteen.

“As I was reading I was like, Excel – yep – Pans – ok – Gluten Tolerant…wait what!? The bloke needs to do marketing for Channel 7” he added frantically through a thick layer of TV make up.

This has of course spurred on others to get more creative, with many applicants for a variety of jobs looking for a point of difference to add to their resumes: Scruncher not Folder, Liberal Voter and those claiming to have landed a successful bottle flip, are just a few that The Shallot have received from intern hopefuls.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*