Author: Parsley Adams – Editor-in-Chief.
27 year old area man, Aaron Morpeth, has today ventured to his local Woolworths to stock up for his Australia day BBQ. In attendance, will be two part Aboriginals, both friends and co-workers with his Wife, Chantelle.
When he heard the news, it is alleged that he shouted “streuth” and rushed to purchase a myriad of offensive product, a decision clearly fuelled by his crushing white guilt.
“They work with my misso, so I want to make a good impression. I’ve got wombat snags and wallaby sizzler’s – I’ve even invented a fun game to make them feel more welcome – boomerang cricket!” said Aaron, ignorantly.
“I just want them to feel at home – shit – they are already at home…ummm” he blathered nervously.
“What I meant to say is that I want them both to have a good time and forget about all of that invasion stuff – what the hell Aaron, of course they’re not going to forget – stupid!”.
Chantelle has urged her husband to ‘not make a scene’ and is rather concerned about being embarrassed on the day.
“Their names are William and Scott respectively – they do not require a fuckin’ corroboree on arrival to enjoy a bloody BBQ” she steamed.
More to follow.